Be Not Afraid...Well, Unless You're Covid

Here's a photo from a late season Nationals game to celebrate Dad's Birthday. Becky in the distance and Carrie forward.

This post follows a 30 hour time period of emotional upheaval and therefore, will reflect as such in length and substance. 

Current clinical update on Dad. 

As previously established in other posts, communication with the Care Team is challenging at best. We are physically prohibited from being with Dad for obvious reasons and in those fleeting moments when we've been allowed access outside his room, there hasn't been much time for a debrief. These care teams are, quite simply, pushed to their limits trying to care for all their patients and manage the worries of countless family members who, like us are feeling detached and concerned. 

So yesterday's news - preparing us for the worst, that we needed to plan to transition Dad to palliative care in short order was delivered by the nursing team and then we were met with proverbial crickets. No news. All day long, no news. Within that time, Becky made the decision to fly to Florida and I'll touch on her moving journey in a bit. 

A neighbor of Mom and Dad's, who is a physician and rounds in the same hospital was flabbergasted to learn what we'd been told. He'd seen Dad. He'd seen his charts. It didn't make sense. And yet, we still hadn't heard from Dad's treating physician. (I feel it necessary to underscore my frustration as a family member and simultaneous compassion for our weakened/strained healthcare system and healthcare workers right now).

Finally, yesterday evening, we heard from the physician and he had a different story to tell from the nursing team. From his vantage point, Dad's organs were still looking good, and though as of yesterday he didn't seem to be making much progress fighting the disease itself, we were not quite at that devastating juncture so there is time for all the treatments to take their course.

So we were back to our plateau. Our steady, if critical, plateau. I don't think any of us, following the emotional day we had yesterday, felt it would be prudent to update last night. We wanted to see how the night went.

Overnight, specifically in the pre-dawn hours, Dad seems to suffer the most. He did so again last night, but the excellent nurses got him through that time. 

We learned this morning that his organs remain strong as is his heart rate and his oxygen level has been steady in the 90s (as long as that mask stays on). 

In terms of development, there is the smallest of baby steps I can share: yesterday, his Bi-Pap machine was operating at its absolute highest level. Today? They were able to reduce it down a level and still maintain his oxygen levels. Again, this is a baby step. But it's one of progress, so we'll take it!

Becky's Trip

I mentioned Becky made the journey down to Florida yesterday. Bear in mind we'd been told he may not make it through the day and a day later, we are talking about baby steps toward progress. So you do what you will with this story. I know what I think. Here are Becky's words, as relayed by her in a text message to a few of us:

I have chills. I have to tell you what just happened. After we landed, I was putting my things away. The man next to me said   I saw you were reading the Bible, did anything stand out to you. I told him that I was reading through Romans. That I was seeking comfort and wisdom to prepare for saying goodbye to Dad. I explained he is in ICU with the virus. He asked if Dad was a believer - I said yes. He said Praise God and asked if he could pray for us. He said the most beautiful prayer over our family. I felt like God was right next to me. God is so good to put that kind man in my path today. Praise 🙌

After she arrived, the ICU nurses were, again, so accommodating and willing to get Becky access to Dad. Just as Cathy stood outside Dad's room and was able to talk to him by phone, so was Becky. She shared "after the initial shock of seeing me tonight, Dad reached out his arms and gave me a virtual hug. Though it was through glass, somehow I could still feel it. And it was awesome!!"

FaceTime with Dad

This morning, I was afforded a most special blessing: a one on one FaceTime with Dad, facilitated by his Nurse, Gina, who is truly an angel on Earth. I was caught off guard by how quickly they were able to pull it together. I was on hold asking if this could happen at some point today, then next thing I know, I was asked to be ready and call back in 7 minutes. I spent that time trying to collect thoughts and realized I needed an assist. My dear friend, Sonja, prayed over me and gave me the strength I needed to be present with Dad. 

I immediately began humming a familiar tune. It stayed with me through my conversation with Dad and now that I've pin pointed the hymn, I'm singing it loud (but still only inside my head to spare my family): "Be Not Afraid". 

Speaking with a Covid patient in the ICU is so very hard. The noise of the (life saving) machines, the distraction of the tubes and contraptions, a full face mask (forehead, chin and cheeks all covered). The patient wears one ear bud and a nurse holds a device and keeps another ear bud open in event he/she needs to help bridge communication. 

I'll share a couple bits of my cherished conversation with you:

• There is a A LOT of fight in Dad. There may have even been a couple salty, choice words shared with me about what he thinks about Covid. So guess what Covid? Be AFRAID. Be VERY AFRAID. Dale's coming for you. 
• There was a moment when Dad showed some fear? Apprehension? Uncertainty? None of it was around his desire to fight, it was a philosophical ask of "what's the plan?". My response - Dad here's our agenda:

1. Be patient and be a good patient. 
2. Let the medicine do its job by killing off Covid
3. Regain your strength
4. Go home
5. Live life, because you have so much more living to do

That is it. That's the agenda. Simple, direct. Easy to follow. His shoulders relaxed and he nodded. Of course he soon outwitted me by asking me to update the agenda with timelines. DAD 🙄.

I told him I'm not in charge of those. God will have the timelines under His purview. But we have a plan nonetheless.

Prayer Requests

So, my prayer warriors, let's work on some more incremental improvements. Any improvements, whatsoever, are good ones. And please, pray with us for his comfort during those frightful pre-dawn hours. 

Thank you, again, for your continued and gracious support. 

Love, Saunders Six