Coach is Making the Play Calls

 

If I thought we crammed a lot of emotion into a 30 hour window yesterday, these past 14 hours gave those a run for their money. Let me just try to outline where we've been and where we are. Maybe the words will come then, because I've struggled to get this update rolling. It's the advice I always give Laura when she's trying to solve a problem: Just start by telling me what you know.

Here's what I know:

Yesterday evening, I headed to bed to early (10PM), peacefully thinking about our low, but critical plateau and baby steps. Dad was still on the Bi-Pap and all vitals were strong. I prayed, just as I asked all of you to do, that his pre dawn hours would be peaceful and I was just about to settle in when...

I get a call...5 alarms...Dad's oxygen crashed and we needed to decide within minutes whether to intubate and place him on a ventilator or forego additional treatment and pursue palliative care.

Head spinning. Such is life with a loved one in a Covid ICU.

Cathy leaped into action and coordinated a family meeting, along with the ICU nurse, to get information. We determined there were a few questions to be answered before we could give our nurse direction and he hung up to do some homework while five Saunders tackled this problem ahead of us. I'm sure some of you have been in a similar position as we were in last night, but most of you have not. I do not wish that feeling of playing God with a loved one's life on anyone. 

Remarkably, even with all of our wildly different personalities, we sorted out the playbook and, depending on the information shared back with us by the care team, felt at peace with our decisions. 

Cathy and Becky headed to the hospital to be closer to the action and decision making and, God forbid, we needed to forego treatment, they would be with Dad at the end. 

Well, guess what, team? Guess what we didn't know? It wasn't five Saunders that should have mulling over this literal life and death situation. 

There are six of us. "Saunders Six".

Dad threw us a curveball. Yes, his Oxygen had crashed and things had looked ominous, but, remarkably, when Cathy and Becky arrived, fully expecting Dad to be non responsive and motionless, he was alert, wide eyed and thrilled to see not one but TWO of his daughters outside his window. And what the actual heck? He learned he still had a play to call. 

Through a flurry of notes written in LARGE BOLD LETTERS in marker and hand gestures and translation provided by the nursing team Dad said HECK NO to taking to a knee! If we as a family agreed to support him in trying intubation, in spite of the risks, that's what he wanted to do. 

So the Saunders SIX, led by Coach Dale, made that call together, as a team. 

At 2:45AM EST, we received word that Dad was safely intubated and as of this morning, his oxygen levels were making meager improvements. 

Pre-intubation, it was 49. Earlier this morning, it was 56. So, inching up, but we'd like to see that much higher. Much Higher. 

I get to work with physicians on the regular for my job and, today, I reached out to a pulmonologist I've known for years. He was so kind to speak to me, Cathy and Becky today - in slow and plain English about the flurry of activity that had taken place overnight. 

Several takeaways from this conversation include:

1) Dad has received all the standard protocols

2) Yes, he did only make meager improvements post intubation, but that does not mean he won't or can't continue to improve - we just need to give him some time. He is 79 and staring down Covid and double pneumonia, after all

3) Dad, our forever Coach, made the right play call

What now? 

We wait. Patiently, per the Agenda, and let the treatments fight this. We could be looking at consecutive days of meager, incremental changes and we need to brace for this.

We pray. By golly. We pray. Y'all - especially the ones that prayed "Be AGGRESSIVE"? Y'all are my people. 

We asked for Be Aggressive prayers two nights ago and who showed up to play ball yesterday? 

This guy:

In this photo, pre intubation, Dad is giving two thumb's up! Let's do this!